MY BIG RUBBER BUTT: Adventures of a Transgender Comic Part 7

I should've known I was screwed way before that. Not be becuase I'm untalented or transgendered (I can work around that). It's because I'm German.

After my audition, Debbs took me out on the town. She knew this great Japanesse place...... We ate, we laughed, we drank. She told great stories about her writing and the people she's crossed paths with. I was frothing at the mouth over just having spent the afternoon at NBC.

It was fun.

I wound-up on her couch, staring at something on tv, while her roomate drank wine and cleaned-out the fishtank. I was exhausted. And, a little buzzed. Debbs ran back and forth, changing, taking care of the bunny, checking her computer and checking on me (she's good like that).

I'm a cynic and a fatalist, at heart. I always will be. But, for one moment, I was on top of the world. "This is NBC Casting..", is a line that ran on a continuous loop in my brain that entire day. Hope rose in my chest for the first time in a long time.

It's almost impossible to explain how tired I was. Mumbling 'uh-huh', and ocassionally nodding was preferable to 'Please, stop talking....I'm having a hard-time focusing'. That required too much energy.

So, I just laid there, glassy eyes staring between a blurred image on a television screen and listened to the minute details of African Aquatics, by Debbs roommate. I'm not sure she realized just how exhausted I was. And, the second glass of wine did nothing to make her more aware, or slow her down. She was on a roll.

That's pretty much how I remember that day coming to an end. Surreal. But, somehow appropriate. I realized that, as I laid there, that I probably had reached the pinnacle of my success Whatever happened happened, I was going to savor every minute of it. Even fish-lady couldn't take that away.

Tonight, I was Sleepin' With the Fishes.