I can almost see myself.

If you are covered in mud long enough, you start to think you are wet dirt.

I feel like wet dirt. Most of the time.

It's not like a 'pain'. It's more like a weight. It bares down on you. It makes even walking difficult.

It sucks.

But, there are moments......

Moments when the rains come.

Then, I feel fresh, and clean, and free. My essence shows through....And, I can see myself. At those moments, I am comfortable in my body, I'm confidant, and I'm happy.

Those moments are fleeting.

Usually, I'm covered in drool, trying to keep one kid from trying to eat another.

But, sometimes.......sometimes.....I can almost see myself.