My Accetance Speech

The whole episode with Lisa Lampanelli and her nomination for a Grammy Award got me thinking; Who would I thank, if I won a Grammy?!

I'd have to thank my mom -especially if she's in the room.
I'd thank my old Drill Instructor, Sargeant Johnson -because he'd definitely kick my ass.

I'd thank Richard Pryor.
And, I'd thank Mr. Spock.

If it wasn't for Bullwinkle, Ghandi, and Jack Daniels, I wouldn't be here, tonight.

I'd thank my dealer.
And, I would thank god -because I'm an atheist (and, the only transwoman in the room).

I would tear-up quickly...and my voice would crack and waver. I would sob, uncontrolably, as I choked-out the words "you really love me!"

I would be an embarassment of riches.

-At least, that's my plan.